Brad

.........Did you hear that?.....That's the sound of a bear....That's right, they can be very quiet when prowling around looking for a free meal. Mmm mmm good...freeze dried food. Mmm....Ramen right out of the package. We figure the bear that ate all of our food and sent us home from our backpacking trip a day early enjoyed a 10,000 calorie meal that night, although I doubt he spent much time with the other bears given the inevitable gas that such a meal would induce. We had hiked all day the day before through a roaring thunderstorm to reach that lean-to. The lightning crashed all around us. At times the rain felt almost like hail. We had crossed raging rivers up to our waists with sixty pound packs on our backs. We had pulled ourselves up and over rocks bigger than our bathroom. We were exhausted. Everything we had was soaked. It became known among our small band of brothers as "THE DAY". We had scheduled in a rest day to recouperate, but that was not destined to happen. Instead, we turned around the next day and hiked out of the Adirondacks with almost nothing in our stomachs.

The trip was amazing. Even "THE DAY" was awe inspiring in its own way. I doubt if I'll ever experience the same intimate encounter with mother nature the way I did that day. There were so many highlights to our trip. We hiked up and down three mountain peaks. The last peak we hiked, Mt. Marcy, coincided with my birthday. It will forever be one of the most unforgetable birthdays of my life. My comrads, Tyler and Ryan, were just crazy enough to give me a birthday party on the top of the mountain - complete with candles. Although, instead of using one match to light 23 candles, I think we went through 23 matches trying to light one candle. And my dear friend Maggie sweetened the occasion by sending me Little Debbie's brownies with a packet of 23 candles. Yes, I did in fact cram all 23 candles onto that 1.5 x 3 inch morsel of cakey, brownie goodness. The brownie was small but special. Not to mention the thoughtful card that went along with it. It was truly one of the most meaningful birthdays I've ever had.

There are more stories to tell - many more - but these are the one's that meant the most to me. Oh, and I have quite a photo album from the trip if anyone wants visuals (unfortunately, I don't currently have enough room to post them on my online photo album. I'll work on updating that and will make it known when they are posted.) I hope you all had exciting summers both in your activities and your spiritual growth. It'll be great to be in fellowship with you guys again this year. Take care.

Brad

Ok, yeah, I realize that my last few postings have been a little deep, more than most of you probably care to know. The truth is, I've been reading a lot of books lately, more than is normal for me. I seem to have this hunger for spiritual wisdom lately and I've been grabbing it from every source I can find. Rest assured that my primary sources remain the Bible and direct contact with Our Father through prayer. But what I've found is that the books I've been reading have given me clarity in a number of issues in my life, which has in turn driven me to be more intimate with God. If your waiting for me to divulge these issues of mine in this journal, you better go buy yourself some Rogain. Nevertheless, I feel that I owe some explaination for my ramblings. God has really been going to town on my psyche. I honestly don't think I've ever been this clear in thought in my life. Areas of my life in which I felt I was sinking into the sand have since become new cornerstones for my future. Now more than ever, I know what its like to be transformed by God. I like this verse:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transormed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2

Also one of my long standing favorite verses:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

Both verses I find focus on one thing - that intimacy with God cannot be beat by any other source in our lives. He gives wisdom freely to those who seek him. Here is one more verse that I came accrossed which has proven true in my life:

"The law of the Lord is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the Lord are sure
and altogether righteous."
- Psalm 19:7-9

If any of these verses have piqued your interest, I recommend that you read all of Psalm 119 - yes, all of it (and there is a lot). That Psalm opens the eyes of my heart every time I read it.

Well, I think that's it for now. Take care, everyone. I'm looking forward to seeing a lot of you in the near future.

Brad

Fatherhood - what a concept. I've been thinking about this subject for some time now and it seems that God has blessed my interest in the topic, since He seems to be positively reinforcing my concept of fatherhood in all kinds of suspicious ways. As some of you already know, I have a very strong desire to start a family. It's something that I've dreamt about ever since I was old enough to dream of such things. I look at the way my parents raised me and my brothers and I thank God for their dedication to making our family a loving one. Because of them, I know what a good Christian family should look like and I long to have one of my own. Because I grew up with my brother, now 7, I know what its like and what it takes to love a young child, not to mention the joy. That's the background I come from, which has shaped me considerably as a person. I look at the ways that God has worked in my life and I see a constant effort by Him to prepare me for Christian fatherhood. I say 'Christian' fatherhood because I feel that there are things that a Christian father must do for his family that are in addition to the accepted mainstream responsibilities of todays fathers. It is our responsibility to make sure that our children know that they are loved and supported not only by their parents, but by God their heavenly father. I know what I'm saying is not news to most of you, yet I have taken that thought to heart and have been thinking about everything that it actually entails. More than once have I asked myself 'Am I actually ready to be a father?' Now, before you guys jump all over me, let me say that I know that I'm getting way ahead of myself. Obviously, first there has to be something called a spouse before one can even consider the idea of children. In another sense, though, I deem it wise to heed God's guidance in developing personal character that will monumentally influence your future children, and it's not unhealthy to keep that hypothetical family in mind when reaching for that goal of Christ-likeness.

In books that I've been reading, subjects relating to fatherhood have drawn me in. In music that I've been listening to, songs dealing with fatherhood have grabbed my attention. I can't help it. My mind is atuned to this subject. It is something that I have become passionate about.

And then today in church, John Allen spoke on the topic of fatherhood and the incredible influence that fathers have on their children. What was interesting, though, was that he focused on men being fully alive - in every sense of the word. He pointed to John the Baptist, who never had any children, as being someone who brought fathers and their children together. And the reason was, John the Baptist was wild at heart (the reference to John Eldridge's book is intentional). He lived by his heart and followed his heart in being a man of God. He didn't hold anything back. He didn't sugarcoat the unpopular or dance around the tough issues. He said what needed to be said and he said it with such a fortitude that people came from all around to get a glimpse of this man's passion. He was fearless of men and centered on God. Children's understanding of the world is first formed by their parents. And it is the passion of their father, or lack there of, that will most effect them in their future. Children respond when they see their father living life to the full. Am I a man passionate about God? Does my passion play out in my life? What else am I passionate about? These are questions that I've been swimming through. They have deeply profound and consiquencial answers and implications, the likes of which I am prepared to bask in until God deems me ready to take the dive. In the process, I'm learning more about myself than ever before. I'm discovering and re-discovering what makes me feel fully alive. My hope is that, if and when I am blessed with children of my own, God will have molded me into the kind of father He desires for all of his children.

Just on a side note, if any of you haven't noticed, I have added a photo album under my list of links. Check it out! There's everything from Valentine's day pics to pics of a moose's rear end. Enjoy!

It seems like an eternity since I last wrote an entry in here. A lot seems to have happened in the last two weeks, both in events and my state of mind. My vacation turned out to be exactly what I needed. As it turned out, we abandoned the rest of our plans (Cedar Point, golfing, etc.) because we were having such a wonderful time playing in and around the lake where my grandparents live. I was able to finally finish reading 'The Purpose Driven Life', which proved to be one of the biggest blessings of the week. There are many excellent chapters in that book, but the ones that I read during my trip were on tempation and serving - both topics I needed to hear. The chapters on temptation gave me new insight into the workings of both the Holy Spirit and the Devil in regards to temptation. But it was really the chapters on service and ministry that threw me a curve I wasn't expecting. Don't ask me why this book was able to speak to me when countless sermons have fallen on deaf ears. Perhaps it was because I was expecting God to show up and my heart was searching for something. When I originally started reading the book, my attitude was, 'I've heard this book is good and I'm sure I can learn from it', but I really wasn't convinced that it would be able to help me determine the 'purpose of my life'. Granted, that question is not fully answered yet, but the chapters on service really struck a chord with me. You would think that by this point in my life, I would know what my spiritual gifts are, but I have been disillusioned, misdirected, and otherwise confused on this subject since I was introduced to it as a child. Given my love for music, I always considered that to be my gift from God and yet I knew that somewhere within me God must have placed a more spiritual gift. I have always felt tugs from Him hinting to what my spiritual gifts may be, but my experience in real life always seemed to negate any leaning I had and only served to discourage me. Reading about what true service is and looks like awoke in me a creature that I feel has been hibernating for years now. A burning desire has been ignited within me to serve people in as many ways as I can. I know deep down in my heart that this desire is not new, nor was it ever dead; but it has never been fully revealed or unleashed. After being hit in the head with one brick after another, it occured to me that God has blessed me with a heart to serve people. I am naturally wired for it. It gives me joy when I do it. And something tells me that when I actually begin carrying out His will in that way, God is going to show me things beyond my wildest dreams. I started last week by brainstorming ways in which I could serve and I came up with everything from Habitat for Humanity to hospitals to homeless shelters and everything in between. Today, I looked up Habitat for Humanity online to see if there were any oppurtunities to serve in the near future. I emailed their coordinator for more information, but it appears no more work will be done around Ann Arbor until next March. It's ok, I trust God will reveal where he wants me to be in due time. At the moment, even thinking about all the possibilities is exciting for me. So much continues to happen this summer. Just when I think God is starting to slow down in His endeavor to make me Christ-like, He unveils something even more magnificent for me to work towards. I've felt more awestruck and overwhelmed by God's presence in my life this spring and summer than I think I ever have before. I'll end by saying that all these things that are now coming to pass in my life are things that I have prayed for extensively. I cannot overstate how faithful God has been to me despite my fallibility. God's grace and power go hand in hand, that's for sure.

Craziness! Ahhh! Work, Stress......Vacation....Yes! Waves quietly lapping as I cast my fishing line out onto the pristine waters, garnished by the green hills that surround me. The only exertion I will be doing will be gripping the ski rope or reeling in the perfect catch. Perhaps I'll enjoy a peaceful jaunt around the lake in the dune buggy as the pastel sun sets over this divine illustration. Then ZOOOOOM, ZING, BOOM, BANG. Fireworks flying every which way, mostly illegal of course :) And I shant forget the Muskegan Air Fair. All those amazing feats of technology displaying their raw power as the cacaphony of each fly-by fills my chest. Suddenly, I find myself reunited with sparkling waters as my canoe drifts down the curvacious path before me. In control and yet abandoned from the need for it. Taking in the beauty and freeing aroma of God's creation. Life stands still and yet dances all about me. What now? Giant structures of metal twisted every which way as exhilarating screams are heard echoing from all angles. The sudden rush of blood to the head as your body is whipped around a corkscrew and then through an inverted loop only to be left breathless as you plummet to your seeming doom. The car jerks to a stop and leaves bruises on your knees because they did not design the cars with your long legs in mind. You get off only to get back in line again..... SWISH!!! Dog gone it! I skulled it AGAIN! I take out my ugliest dimpled sphere, knowing that it will likely end up in the water hazard lurking around the bend. But hey, who cares, I'm on vacation!

I hope you all thoroughly enjoy next week. I certainly will be :) I may be in a distant local, but I will not be unaccessable. I would be thoroughly delighted to talk with any of you over the phone while I'm sipping iced tea out on the deck. If anything, it'll give me a chance to catch up with all of you that I've so greatly desired to talk to these last few crazy days but haven't been able to due to the number of hours in a day. Take care, everybody. If you can't escape your physical boundaries, take a mental vacation. Day dream about that perfect trip you've always wanted to take. Transport yourself to that perfect place that you've always seen yourself living (eg. a house on the beach). Or simply gaze into the horizon that presently surrounds you and think about the wonders of God. I hope to talk to all of you soon.

~Brad

Its been so great to be able to hang out with everybody this summer. That goes for everyone from New Life that's in Ann Arbor as well as some new friends that I've made (that would be you, Sheli :)). Seriously, God is using each and every one of you to teach me something. Ted and David, you guys have made our lifegroup this summer so very real and dynamic. I feel like we've created an establishment that should never be disassembled. Even when we return to our 'usual' lifegroups in the Fall, I hope that we'll be able to maintain the same connection that we've created. David, I can't say enough about you as a roommate. I feel like we are brothers and I have only lived with you for a few weeks. And Sheli, you are such an amazing person. It seems like you have so much spiritual fuel to burn. I love it. Your love for God is easily apparent and I really look forward to getting to know you more and hanging out more. Let me also return a big smile to those of you who are at LT but have stayed in touch by email and phone. Lyndsy, I haven't forgotten you :) I promise, I WILL call you as soon as I have time to gab. I really value you as a friend, enjoy your company always, and can't wait for you to return. Maggie, I can't say enough about what your emails (and phone calls) have meant to me. Its people like you that inspire me to live life to the full, take joy in everything, and praise God all the while. You continually amaze me with your insight, devotion, and love for God and people. All of you are living testaments to God's presence within you and I feel so priviledged to know you. God has and is changing me through my interaction with you guys. I thank Him all the time for puting you guys in my life and you're always in my prayers. I hope all of you are doing well and are taking joy in God's blessings in your lives. This summer has been unlike any other in so many different ways. Not only are my internships teaching me new and exciting things, but my friends are are teaching me even more exciting things. You guys are truly amazing. The fellowship of believers is probably the single most powerful thing that God created for his children outside of the Holy Spirit. I look forward to growing with each of you and spending eternity with you. I love you all.

Sincerely,
Brad

The songs that we write,
the melodies we sing.
beautiful harmonies
That magically take shape.

All in my head,
It needs to come out,
All this emotion
That can't be withheld.

I hear it pushing
against my mind,
against my heart.
It needs to come out
And reveal itself to me.

When will it explode
and take on a life of its own?
It is out of my hands
and then back into them.
Its all in the hands, its all in the heart.
It has nowhere to go than into the night.

And out of the night comes the melody,
Spiked with love and raw with passion.
Why must it be this way? Why so much fire?
Why can't I just sit down and write something smarter?

There's something inside me that needs to express
the intense, emotional, unchanneled excess.
It's out of my control, it's outside of me.
It's taken on a life of its own and left me the mess.

Unbridaled and free,
seeking the sun.
Into the heavens
and out of the waves.

It goes where it wants
and flies where it feels.
There's no place it can't go
other than back into the hands.

In it's moment, uniquely indiscreet,
Never to be uttered quite like its debut.
Molded anew each time its construed.
Dynamic, evolving, amazing, renewed.

Songs that amaze me out of the blue.
Songs that renew me, demanding space in my heart.
My insides come out and the outsides I see,
become what is beautiful and stunning indeed.

A song in the night, bred out of passion,
Fighting to find what path it will fashion.
From fingers to black, then fingers to white,
Like raging horses these hands so do fight.

It's not done or complete until the fire has waned,
the moon shining full, the sounds of the night.
Everything poured out leaving calmness and sight.
Seeing what is real, what has come, what is through.
Knowing that I am completely renewed.

This weekend has been quite the melting pot of events. Saturday, I went to the Electronic Music festival in Detroit as a representative for the recording studio I'm working at, Alley Records. It was my first time going, so I really didn't know what to expect. We were there as a sponsor for one of the stages. I don't think my boss really knew what he was getting himself into, because the stage we were sponsoring turned out to be the platform for the gothic communitity. These weren't your average goth folk who just like to wear black. No, these people bordered more on the side of strippers and prostitutes by the way they dressed. Our booth was right next to the stage, too, so I was semi-forced to watch the whole thing. Ugh. Anyway, it was certainly an experience.

The good thing about the trip was that I found out that my co-worker, Russell, is a SIP (Spiritually Interested Person). We were leaving the music festival when we saw a man walking around with a sign reading 'Jesus is God'. Russ knew I was christian and started asking me 'how that works'. I guess he's had a little spiritual background, but he doesn't understand most of it. His first question was how the Son of God could also BE God. That discussion led to other questions as well. He is one of those people that you wonder why he's not a christian already. On the way home, we got onto the subject of music. I told him that I mostly listen to Christian Rock and it turns out that he actually listens to some of it as well. I guess he's a big fan of MXPX, The OC Supertones, and has also listened to bands such as DC Talk, Switchfoot, and POD. He knows they are christian bands and listens to them anyway. I work with Russell every day, so please pray that God will use me in his life.

Sunday, we were supposed to go back to the festival, but my boss decided it wasn't worth it, so I got the day off. It was really nice to be able to just sit back and relax. I finally had the chance to go out and get the new Everyday Sunday CD that I've been waiting to buy. I've been on a bit of a music-buying craze lately. Anyway, I think I spent the rest of the afternoon listening to music. To some, that may seem like a waste of an afternoon, but to me it was heaven.

Today has been great. I was able to sleep in and catch up on some much needed rest. Then I went out and bought some new shoes. I was in dire need of new shoes. My old pair were on the fast track to becoming sandals, if you know what I mean. There's nothing quite like getting a new pair of shoes. It's probably the only time anybody likes to smell their shoes :) Its kinda like that new car smell, ya know? Except it's not quite as large of an investment.

When I got home from shoe shopping, I found a message on my voicemail from my parents. I guess my grandma had a mild stroke yesterday and is currently in the hospital. She had the same sort of thing happen about a year ago, and at that time, everything turned out ok in the end. I guess she temperarily lost her ability to speak and the right side of her body is moving really slowly. She will likely have to have surgery to clean out a blocked artery, which is the cause of the stroke. She's already feeling better since yesterday. My parents said she can speak now, though only in small fragments. But she understands everything everybody tells her, so that's good. Anyhow, if you guys could add her to your prayers, my family would be very grateful.

Nate, my roommate, also moved out today. It's going to be so strange not having him around. I'm certainly going to miss him. As many of you know, he'll be joining the ranks of the LT army in Orlando. In his absence, David Duong is going to move in with me. Yay! It'll be so nice to be able to hang out with him on a daily basis.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week. Take care.

Brad

My heart and mind always seem to want to delve into the deepest crevices of my soul during that time of limbo between the time I get tired and crawl into bed and the time I actually fall asleep. It's become a regular routine for me lately. I've gotten to the point that I plan for it. I go to bed earlier than I really want to just so that when I actually do fall asleep, I'm able to get a reasonable amount of sleep. Anyhow, my thought process always leads me to prayer - its a given. After I've fully examined all the thoughts and feelings that I've shoved aside during the day, there is no other solution than to consult with the Potter - the One who made me and who continues to mold me. Last night, I was listening to Todd Agnew, one of the two new CDs I bought yesterday (the other was the David Crowder Band's Illuminate album). Both are exceptional! Anyway, one of his songs is quickly becoming one of my all time favorites. As I was listening to 'Grace Like Rain', I saw and felt and understood and experienced God's entire package. What in the world am I talking about? If you're anything like me, God strikes you at various times with words of truth that live within certain domains of the Christian faith. I'm quite often struck by God's faithfulness, by his grace, by his love, by his patience, by his knowledge, by his power, and so on. But rarely, do I experience them all at once. It's almost too much to handle. There I was, laying in bed listening to a song about God's amazing grace, and suddenly it all rolled over me at once. God's son died on the cross for me, which shows his unconditional love for me. He continues to lay on blessings so amazing they deal a crushing blow to any thought that my life is good how it is. His faithfulness is astonishing. Not one prayer of mine has gone unaddressed. He continues to grant me wisdom and vision for this life. He has provided me with fellowship, he is changing my heart, he is renewing my mind, he has given me confidence and courage, he has given me the eyes and ears to to be able to build his kingdom. He has given me everything I need to live an amazing, awestruck, adventurous life. He has not withheld anything good from me, but instead has lavished on me every good thing. He knows what is best for me and doesn't waste one moment before showing that to me. Whenever God says no to one of my prayers, I praise him just the same because it means that he is protecting me. I depend on Him to show me what I need and what I don't. He knows which things will enrichen my life and which things will wane my joy. I take comfort in knowing that He is all-knowing, pure and holy. He loves us. We are His children and He wants to give us the best life. He wants us to be a part of bringing heaven to earth. Wow, I'm out of breath. There is so much that our Father gives us and does for us. He is an infinite God with infinite strength; and as vast as the world seems with all of its troubles and complexities, He is master over it all. After being struck by the magnitude and extent of His love, I wonder how I ever could have gone one day without praising Him. I'm starting to feel like a kid again. I am looking at everything with a curious, amazed, optimistic wonderment. It's great to be God's child!

Brad

Hey Everyone,

We've been without internet access ever since Friday's storm, so I'm now trying to make up for lost time. To those of you who are at LT, I'm excited to hear what God is going to do in each of your lives. Believe me, I had a strong desire to join you guys down there, but I trully believe God has me right where He wants me. He is taking me to a whole new level in my spiritual life. I don't think I've ever felt the presence of His power in my life the way I am right now. There are so many wrinkles in my life that I can feel Him ironing out. Actually, our loss of Cable over the weekend turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Without television to watch or email to check, I found myself spending much more time in the Word and in prayer. It ended up being one of the best weekends I've had in a while. God and I are tight right now. We talk all the time. I tell Him the matters dearest to my heart and He tells me how those things relate to His plan. Lately, it's been amazing the speed and accuracy with which He's been answering my prayers. No 'searching' in the Bible has been necesary. I'll finish my prayer, crack open my Bible, and with a little supernatural guidance, the words I need to hear are right there in front of me. It seems I've been caught in an UPWARD spiral. The more I experience God's presence in my life, the hungrier I become for His word and time spent alone with Him. It has trully been two of the most remarkable weeks of my life. His faithfulness keeps growing like a vine with beautiful flowers. Up until now, my life has always felt like a rollercoaster ride. I'd roll up to the peaks and then I'd plunge down only to have God's momentum carry me back up. But now, I don't feel I can use that analogy any more. Something has changed within me - in the way that I interact with God and the way I perceive how everything happens. For lack of a better analogy, its more like I'm riding a train. I can feel the direction I'm going in and my trust in God is keeping me on track. As I look out the window, I can see the scenery changing as I travel through it and yet it is all seamlessly interconnected. As for me, I have the freedom to walk around on the train. But even when I'm walking towards the back of the train, the train is always moving faster forward than I am walking backward and hence His will for my life is manifested.

You all are in my prayers. Make the most of this summer by keeping God number one in your lives. I'm already looking forward to seeing each of you in the Fall, but I'm siezing each day as it comes and making it significant in my walk with God. Take care.

Your brother in Christ,
Brad

Hey folks,

Wow, last night was intense. I couldn't fall asleep because I had so much I was thinking about - my friends, my family, my internships, and my overall state of mind right now. I wasn't worrying about any of it. On the contrary, they have all been immense blessings this past week. Nevertheless, they were all swirling around in my head when I was tired and ready to go to sleep. I decided that the best way to relieve my mind would be to pray through it all. Boy, that was one of the best things I've done all week, aside from taking last Thursday off. I'm a big fan of having long conversations with God. I like calling them conversations as opposed to prayers because I have always had a preconceived notion that prayers were one way - from me to Him. This year, especially, God has shown me how close I can really be to Him. And now that I know how to listen to Him, I am able to hear Him whispering in my ear on a regular basis. It is the most exhilarating experience when God and I are able to go back and forth, sharing ourselves with each other. Now that I am abiding in God in that way, my spiritual walk has been remarkably different. I've found that I cannot seperate God from any single thought or action of mine throughout the day. I used to have to strain to remind myself of God's presence each day, but now I can't go one second without seeing things in God's perspective. Its just been the greatest blessing simply knowing Him and being in fellowship with Him. That's all for tonight. I hope y'all are having an eye-opening summer. Take care.

Brad

Hi guys! My good friend Lyndsy finally talked me into joining this community of ruffians and ragamuffins. I think I'm going to rather enjoy it. It seems God has been working overtime in my life lately and it's been an exercise trying to keep track of what I've told who. I think this will help considerably. Besides, I like knowing how all my friends are doing. Hopefully, this will help me be a better friend and servant.

Considering all that has happened in the last two weeks, I have a lot that I could write in here. I'll be selective so as to not send you guys to bed early. Well, lets see, the big things in my life right now are my two internships and God. It all gets very complicated. For the past two years, I have been trusting and depending on God like I never have before and this spring He has blessed me beyond belief. Out of His amazing grace and mighty power, He orchestrated my life in such an amazing way so as to fulfill His will for my life, draw me closer to Him, and grant me the desire of my heart all in one breath. He conquered all odds to allow me to transfer from the College of Engineering into the School of Music here at U of M. That was quite possibly the biggest moment of my academic experience and left me in awe of His faithfulness. This was something that I had been praying for and believing God for for two years. There were countless times that I had questioned whether it was really God's will for my life (as I felt convicted it was) or whether I was being deceived by selfish ambition. My doubts never lasted long, though, because my relationship with God was getting stronger and stronger through the whole ordeal and the Holy Spirit continually convicted me of what was true. But God didn't stop with what I had been praying for - He went above and beyond and dropped two internships right into my lap. I was left completely speechless. I worshiped Him with tears of joy and thanksgiving. No words could relay the connection I felt with Him during that time. I wish I could go into depth about why school and these internships are spiritually loaded topics for me, but this posting is long enough as it is.

With that said, this week was an eye-opener. When I first came to the decision to stay and work in Ann Arbor over the summer instead of going to LT Orlando, I made a pact with God that He would be number one in my life and that I would center my summer around building my relationship with Him. This past week, I let the very jobs that God had given to me as blessings consume me and drown out God himself. My first indication that something was wrong was that I was becoming overwhelmed by my work. Then Wednesday came and I went to New Life Church's (NLC) summer New Life Team. The topic of the evening was experiencing God's joy in the midst of circumstances. I realized that I had somehow gone from overflowing joy to being completely drained. Thursday, I decided to take the day off from both of my internships and spend the entire day with God. The day didn't start out so well. I was severely out of the spirit and desperately seeking His face. It took several hours of praying, reading the word, doing mind maps and the like before I felt any change in my heart, but then God spoke to me in a big way. I had just come to some sort of understanding of what my problem was when the song "This is the Day that the Lord has Made" popped into my head. I mean, this is an OLD song! I probably haven't heard or sang it since I was in middle school. Some of you may have never heard it at all. Anyway, I knew that it was also a verse, so I looked it up and it led me to Psalm 118. I was so drawn in by it - every phrase seemed to come alive and took special meaning in light of all the issues I had just worked through. At that point, I was so hungry for the word that I felt compelled to keep reading. I continued on to Psalm 119, which turned out to be an even greater blessing from God. It is such a long Psalm, but it's chock-full of meaning, love, inspiration, and truth. It gave me a whole new point of view of how God desires me to live in relation to Him and how everything is secondary and dependent upon Him. I'm in the process of typing out all of Psalm 119 and plan to past it on my wall so that it will serve as a constant reminder of how I am to think. With that, I think I'll leave you for the evening. Take care, everyone :)

Brad